Don't Call Anko Cute
by Bella Joy
Summary: Anko is many things. Tough. Scary. Violent. Sexy. One thing she is not, nor has she ever been, is 'cute'. So why does this keep happening?
1. Ch1 The Tea Shop

Anko glared down at the mug nestled neatly between her hands, decorated by a soft pastel pink and cream design, with a harshness that threatened to crack it just by its severity.

The tea was warm. Pleasantly so. Not overly hot, just warm in a way that the heat of the cup spread up through her from the hands that held it. Lifting it slowly to her lips and taking a sip, she could feel it move to her stomach, settling firmly in her core, warming her very being.

And its taste was...sweet. They must have put a _lot_ of sugar in it. Not that it tasted _bad_ , but…

The setting sun casted a golden glow over her through the shop's slatted windows, holding her still in its reach. All of it wrapped her in a warmth and relaxation she never thought possible. It felt so... _soothing_.

Her grip on the cutesy mug tightened, as if she were threatening to strangle it.

'...how the _hell_ did I end up in here?'

This wasn't like her. It's not like she'd _planned_ to come here, it just sort of...happened. Sudden and on a whim, while taking a walk in the evening after work.

She'd been under a lot of stress lately. Being a rogue monster's former student gave you plenty of that, and her job at T&I had been demanding more and more of her the past month. Normally, she just got some dango, or went off to do some private training to work the stress out. However, she'd been overdoing it on sweets and treats lately, and she wasn't in the mood to work it off. She'd skulked around the streets of Konoha for a while, looking for _something_ to do, and the tea shop was just...there. That's all it was.

With its pastel designs and the cheery frilly uniforms the servers wore, this is the kind of place that could ruin her reputation as a tough chick.

But...the quiet murmuring of the other patrons. The nice atmosphere. The kind and pretty waitresses...everything was coming together as if it had a mission, throwing everything it possibly could at Anko to make her give in to its delights.

And...it was working. Ever so slowly, the stress of the previous weeks melted behind the sweetness of the tea, and her muscles relaxed, causing her to sink down into herself as a small smile inched its way onto her face.

She closed her eyes, allowing herself a moment- just one moment to bask in the comforts this shop offered her rather than fighting it.

"...Anko?"

 _*CRACK*_

The mug shattered in her grip as her eyes flew open in panic, madly searching for the source of the voice that had called her, settling on-

Inoichi!? Inoichi, her co-worker in the T&I department, was staring at her in shock from the doorway of the tea shop. As far as bad could go, this was BAD. He couldn't see her in a place like this. With- with that LOOK on her face! She had to- she had to _get out of here NOW._

Inoichi quickly regained his composure, scratching the back of his head and chuckling lightheartedly.

"I didn't know you-"

*CRASH*

The glass blew apart as she dove through it, shards of the broken window flying in every direction around her. Her heart was beating like a drum, adrenaline coursing through her as she fled the scene. She would worry about consequences later. She just had to get away with her dignity intact.

* * *

AN: This story is completely inspired by the passing thought, 'What if Anko was adorable?'  
And, oh boy, I am having one hell of a field day writing this one! Updating twice a week, Saturdays and Sundays.  
If the idea of "the universe conspires to make Anko as cute as humanly possible" is appealing to you, then I'm happy to say there's tons more to come!

Big thanks to Artesiant, who did the commissioned cover art for this story, who can be found on tumblr with the same username.  
Support artists, everybody!

Thanks for reading, yo


	2. Ch2 Window Shopping?

Her legs were almost ready to buckle beneath her. How far had she run from that damn frilly tea shop?

The night was cold but her body was burning both from the stress of her encounter and the ensuing escape, leaving her exhausted and trying to catch her breath on a street corner. This is what she gets, letting herself have a moment of weakness like that. Why did she even go in that place!? She'd never wanted to before!

'It was just there, Anko.', she reasoned to herself, slowly starting to walk again, this time towards home. 'That's all it was.'

Right...Right. She was stressed, and just passing by. Maybe she could say she was curious about what it was like? Inoichi would probably believe her. She'd certainly never been in a place like that before, and she wasn't about to let her image as a badass fall apart because of a passing whim to see the inside of a tea shop.

And that's all it was, right? Just a passing whim, a one time thing that she could forget about now.

After all, it's not like she's into that cutesy shit.

'Though…'

Her pace slowed, coming to a halt on one of the commercial streets of the village, streetlights flickering on around her as the sun sank beneath the trees.

'It's not like it was...bad…'

...Welp! Curiosity sated, that's great! Now she never had to go in there again!

"Hah! Thank Kami! Ha-HAaha!"

Fairly late, she realized that she'd been speaking out loud, standing tall, hands planted firmly on her hips while villagers paused from their walks to stare at her sudden scene.

A beat passed, and Anko ducked her head, shoving her hands in her pockets and striding along, gruffly pushing past anyone in her way.

This whole thing had just added to her stress in the end. Obviously, it was a bad idea from the start.

Well. She'd learned her lesson.

Amidst her self chastisement, a sparkle caught her eye, coming from one of the shops she was about to pass.

It was...a dress. A big, poofy dress, adorning a mannequin in the window. That thing was...was... _garish!_ She stopped in front of the window, looking the thing over.

It was gigantic. Big and frilly, with- were those _sparkles?_ Did that thing have GLITTER on it!? What the hell kind of shop _was_ this? Taking a step back to read the sign, she read out that it was exclusively a dress shop, 'packed with everything to make you feel like the princess you are!'.

That certainly explained that. Her eyes settled back onto the object of question.

'Who the hell would actually buy this thing…?'

Were people actually into that? Look at it! It's...it's obscenely...something. It's something. It's not like it's ugly, or bad looking. In fact, if there was a word to describe it, it would be...cute. Yeah. Cute. WAY too cute. Offensively cute. Sugar pixies would vomit up the rainbows in their guts looking at this thing.

She glared at it, pinning her frustration to the thing, as if her narrowed eyes could will it to burst into flame and fix all the trouble that today had been.

"Um...window shopping?"

A voice spoke calmly beside her, and Anko turned distractedly, eyes lingering on the offending dress before moving to see-

...Kurenai? That was a startlingly pleasant surprise. Kurenai was a good friend, always knowing just how to calm her down, and speaking with a respectful softness that Anko never really got from anyone else. Though, distracted as she was, she missed what she'd said.

"Hey hey, Kurenai! This is a nice surprise. Out for a walk?"

Kurenai seemed a bit distracted herself, blinking away the bit of surprise on her face before continuing.

"Ah, yes. It's a um, a very nice evening out."

That was Kurenai. Always calm, out in town just cause it looked nice outside. Anko nodded, humming a quick sound of approval.

"Hm, yeah! It's not bad out, huh? Sorry, I was a bit out of it before, what'd you say?"

Her companion's eyes flicked to the window of the shop they stood in front of before returning right back to Anko's.

"Uh...are you, window shopping?"

"...wha?"

She looked to the side herself, and-...

Oh. She'd been staring at the dress. And Kurenai…OH.

"Wh-what!? No! No, I- I-"

On any other day, that accusation wouldn't have bothered her nearly this much, but her close encounter with Inoichi had left her shaken, and the idea of another misunderstanding- that- that she had an _interest_ in this dumb, girly, frilly dress was just-

"Anko, are you...blushing...?"

WHAT? No, Anko NEVER blushed! She isn't-...Is- is she? Oh Kami she is. She had to explain that this was just a misunderstanding. She had to just explain everything that had happened, and Kurenai would understand. She was a good listener like that.

But...she was giving her this... _look._ The way she was staring down at her in awe caused the words to catch in Anko's throat and just left her sputtering, unable to speak at all as she started to sweat.

'C'mon, Anko! Just- tell her what happened today!'

And she was _trying_ , Kami, she was trying. But Kurenai just kept watching her, causing to shrink back into herself more, and she could feel the warmth in her cheeks getting redder and redder, and-

She bolted, street lights blurring alongside her as she sprinted away. The dress, Kurenai, and that whole freaky situation was left in the dust behind her. Still, the embarrassment clung to her like tree sap, impossible to shake. Her hands clapped against her face, feeling the heat in her cheeks as she darted through Konoha's commercial district, back to her apartment.

Today was just awful. It was filled to the brim with bad luck; she could sleep it off and be back to her normal self tomorrow, putting this whole thing in the past

Everything would be normal tomorrow.

* * *

AN: To the guest who reviewed asking for an update: ye ask, and ye shall receive. Happy holidays y'all. Enjoy another chapter of de-stress fic, cute anko style


	3. Ch3 The Incident

Anko was right. Everything went right back to normal after a good night's sleep. At least...she was right for a while. The first week after her confrontations at the tea and dress shops had been eventless. Absolutely nothing seemed to have come of it so far. Inoichi hadn't brought up that he'd seen her drinking tea with a big dumb grin on her stupid face, and she had yet to see Kurenai since that night.

Though, that one...may have been on purpose. She was just...giving her some time to forget that whole encounter. It's not that she was still embarrassed about it. That wasn't it at all. Anko didn't _do_ embarrassed.

So, everything was fine again. Her reputation was perfectly intact, and she hadn't had even a lingering speck of curiosity about anything remotely adorable. She was alright.

Until...it happened. 'The Incident'. Something that Anko would never live down; something that even years from now she would look back on in shame and humiliation.

The day had started out perfectly fine, not a single thing alluding to the horror that would await her. The events of what had happened last week had even started to fade from her mind. It was just a momentary lapse of sense, after all. Nothing to worry about.

It was evening, and Anko was trudging along slowly to her favorite dango place, content with her efforts from today's workout in the training grounds. She was tired and sore, but not in a bad way at all, smirking to herself as she caught her breath before entering the snack shop.

The air inside was cool, a nice breeze flowing over her tired muscles and making her sigh out contentedly as she licked her lips, looking over the snacks in the display stands. This really is the one place she could get away with anything~

Nobody, absolutely nobody would challenge her when it came to dango. It was like her one guilty pleasure. The one thing she could get away with. In fact, her sharp personality was tempered even further by the knowledge that she had a sweet spot for the treat, people whispering in fear about her and the snack.

"Don't mess with Anko while she's getting dango, she'll mess you up!"

"Anko would _destroy_ you if you messed with her dango, and she'd make it slow!"

"Just stay away from her while she's eating, she's so cool and awesome and good looking too!"

The reputation she'd worked so hard for had been able to combine with her snack time, as it was just the one sweet thing about her, and create a perfect little paradise in which she was the ruler.

It was her retreat from the world. It was where she de-stressed, and relaxed. It's where she _should've relaxed a week ago, as always._

Anko shook the thought from her head. That night was behind her now. This wasn't the time for worrying, this was the time for dango!

She slithered up to the counter, smirking mirthfully at the server. He knew _exactly_ why she was here, shaking just slightly as he nervously stepped behind the snack case, reaching to grab two sticks of the treat to start off this evening feast.

He held them out over the counter, not meeting her eyes as he spoke.

"T-two hundred yen, please…"

Already drooling at the smell of the dango, Anko patted her pocket and…

It was empty.

She...forgot her wallet.

The employee was now looking up at her, likely wondering what was taking her so long.

"...uhhhh...Hey, buddy. Uh, listen to this right? So, I left my wallet back at my apartment, see? And-"

"I can't...I can't give you the dango unless you pay..."

It looked like it had taken a mountain of effort on his part to say that. It probably had. She leaned onto the counter, giving her most charming smile. She may or may not have pushed up her cleavage as she spoke.

"Listennn...I come here all the time! You know that, riiiight? Just 200 yen worth of dango...just two sticks! That's not a big deal...right?~"

The kid was sweating. He looked like he was about to keel over, but he still held the dango sticks on the other side of the counter, trying to glance anywhere but at her.

"I'm sorry, but, I can't give you these unless you pay…"

Her eyes narrowed, voice dropping low as she tersely bit out,

" _Gimme the dango."_

"I- I can't!"

...There wasn't much she could do about this one, huh. Dammit! Could she make it home to grab her money and back before the snack shop closed? Probably not. It was pretty close to closing as it was. Ugh...there were other places open later that would still be selling, but none of them had dango as good as this place did...

Turning away from the terrified employee with a sneer, she'd started towards the door when…

'...Well helloooo, what have we here?'

Inside the shop, lazily eating away at the second of four sticks of dango, was none other than Ibiki. Her boss, Ibiki.

...She could totally mess with him.

Anko slid beside him like a shadow, speaking as sweetly as the dango he held.

"Heyyy, boss~ What a coincidence!"

He'd paused mid bite to look at her, rolling his eyes and taking a deep breath as he lowered the stick.

"Wooow...you, here, at this shop...with dango! The world sure is a mysterious place, huh?"

"I'm sure it is, Anko. Can I help you?"

"As a matter of fact!"

The man sighed like he knew he'd just invited disaster into his home.

"See, here's how it is…"

Anko pulled a chair next to Ibiki's in one swift motion, the thing rocking from the sudden movement before she leaned across it, stilling it with a click as its legs snapped against the tiled floor.

"So I come in here all the time, you know that right?"

Ibiki nodded his head, silently willing her to get on with it.

"Well! Today, it just so happens I lost my wallet...and after training so much today, really pushing myself out there, bettering myself as a ninja, you know? I was so looking forward to a little treat, after all that hard work and effort...And so then I see you, with-"

"No."

"Aw _come on_ old man!"

Ibiki smirked, picking up the remaining sticks of dango in one hand and jabbing them tauntingly in her direction.

"Nope. I'm not giving you _my food_ just because you forgot your wallet. If you really want to better yourself, you should start with not forgetting things that simple."

"You have like four sticks! That's more than any man needs, just gimme two, and we'll call it good!"

"No."

"One?"

"No."

"One piece?"

He refused to even say it again.

Anko looked away with a frustrated 'tch'. What could she do here? How could she get that dango? Kick him in the balls and run? Hm...the idea had some merit, but, assaulting her boss probably wasn't the greatest idea.

"You really don't wanna give me those things, huh?"

Ibiki radiated an aura of triumph, looking smug as he barked out a laugh.

"Hah! I wouldn't give you these even if you begged."

"Yeah right...You so would."

"I'd like to see you even _try,_ Anko."

This was getting into dangerous territory...but...well, she'd always been a bit too confrontational.

"What, you think I won't?"

"I _know_ you won't."

This was a battle indeed. Within her, two options were fighting for dominance. Either leave and get dango somewhere else, or actually do it and take this smug bastard's. It was honestly a close battle; her pride against the challenge Ibiki set for her, which he was so certain she could never complete. In a way, that was a matter of pride as well. And that…

Well. Take Ibiki down a peg _and_ take his dango? That might just be too good to pass up. But...

Ech. She could beg, but it would be all ugly, and terrible. Still, she probably wouldn't have to do too much in the way of it. Just the fact that she'd even ask nicely would be enough to shock the guy, probably. A quick please, and she'd nab the sweets and hightail it out of there. Victory, thy name is Anko. That sorta thing.

Closing her eyes, Anko lowered her head down into her arms, rested firmly on the back of her chair. Taking in a deep breath to prepare herself, she felt...something. It was like something started to click within her, but she couldn't place exactly what. Ah well- she couldn't distract herself, asking all nicely was gonna leave a bad taste in her mouth, so she didn't wanna mess it up and have to redo it all.

Her head raised slowly, and something about her felt...different. She'd said please before, and it was never pretty. It was an embarrassing moment that caused her no small amount of suffering to perform, so there was no reason for this to be anything other than that, but...

But something was. She could feel it in the way her lip quivered, in the way her eyes were slightly damp with unshed tears, the way her gaze was avoiding the man in front of her, shyly looking away. Before she could even stop herself, her voice spoke in a small, delicate tone she unaware she was even capable of producing.

"P-...please...?~"

.

.

.

Nobody said a word. Every eye in the shop was trained directly on her; at the sparkling aura that had surrounded her when she spoke. The moment the words left her mouth, Anko recovered herself, freezing in place, absolutely petrified. A few seconds later, she had to courage to look around the deathly still snack shop.

To her horror, her moment had gone far from unnoticed. Most of the observers were sporting a small blush, in a state of shock at what they had just witnessed. And Ibiki…

Ibiki's jaw was dropped, the arm that held his dango shaking with the threat of going slack. A light dusting of pink slowly made its way onto his stunned expression.

Anko snatched the dango and ran, the door of the shop nearly flying off its hinges as she smashed through it.

The cold night air and the sweet smell of dango did next to nothing to mollify her as she fled.

That happened.

She just did that.

She just did that in front of a whole shop full of people.

One of which was her boss.

 _...fuck._

This isn't-...

This-...

...she-...

... _something's wrong with her._


	4. Ch4 I Am NOT Cute

The night after The Incident was cold and dark, encasing Anko in a bleak chill.

Fitting.

There was no way she could just brush this one off. Everyone had seen. _Ibiki_ had seen. What was wrong with her...? What even happened!? It was just supposed to be a quick thing, a stupid 'please' to nab a man's dango, not...not _that!_

Anko slouched on a tree branch nearby her apartment building, exhausted but strangely unwilling to go back to her home. It was, in all likelihood, plain and clear paranoia. But still, she couldn't shake the feeling that something bad would happen if she went back there. It was too...obvious. Ibiki might show up there, demanding to see her so he could fire her. After all, somebody who ever acted like that was probably not fit to be in T&I.

Oh kami her life was ruined, wasn't it.

There was just a need to lay low for a bit. If people were looking for her for any reason, her apartment would be the first place they'd check, and she wasn't exactly feeling up to explaining what the hell had happened at the dango shop.

Dango...That reminded her, she had two and a half sticks worth of the stuff held tight in her clenched fist. For a moment, she felt a surge of anger, raising her hand to throw them as hard as she could, blaming them for whatever had happened back there. But…

Her movement halted, and she slowly brought them back, angrily taking bite off of one of the sticks.

These things were her only compensation for that ordeal. No point in making it all for nothing.

Still, the taste was bittersweet. It didn't feel worth it at all. She was stuck wanting to avoid thinking about tonight, yet it being the only thing she could possibly have a thought about.

'...something's wrong with me.'

Anko shook her head to crack apart the thought. There was nothing wrong with her. It was a freak accident. That whole...mushy moe crap! That wasn't her. That wasn't what she's like.

Before she'd even realized, she'd eaten all of the dango she'd procured, and was left with nothing but a few thin wooden sticks.

...She didn't even have the energy to toss _those_.

Running a hand through her hair, she sighed, hopping off the tree and walking down the street, silently twirling the dango sticks between her fingers.

She'd have to put in a lot of work to make up for that slip in personality. Maybe she could act like she'd done it on purpose...? To freak Ibiki out. That might be believable. Either that, or she'd need to go twice as hard as usual. Really push the limits of what was allowed in terms of spooking people in the workplace.

Bribing wouldn't work. Too many people had seen. Besides, if she bribed him to keep quiet, it would be acknowledging that she really did have the capability to act like that when her guard is down. That was _not_ acceptable.

Decided. She'd go hard on her violent mistress personality tomorrow, _before_ rumors of what had happened at the dango store could really spread. Mess with some bystanders, scare a few poor saps into wetting their pants, and the blow of "Did Anko seem off to you...?" would be lessened by a pretty good amount. "Yeah something did seem off! She was even more cool and scary than usual!"

Hah! Yeah, that's what would happen! It'd be great!

Nobody would believe anyone who said she was acting anything other than her violent self.

Yeah. That's how it'd go.

Her stare lifted from her feet as she found herself in one of Konoha's many parks. Slowing her pace, Anko took in the view of it. Dark, silent, and still. Nobody ever came to a lightless park at night. This whole part of the village was still, all of the nearby residents having turned in as the sun set, leaving the area empty and calm.

There were a few benches inside the park. Anko trudged over to the nearest one, dropping onto it with a grunt. The adrenaline had mostly left her at this point, leaving her feeling heavy and absolutely exhausted. She didn't want to even stand anymore, let alone walk back home.

She laid down across the bench, letting a hand drop off to brush against the grass below her. She had a lot of work to do tomorrow, a Redemption Day to fix everything up all nice, but right now...right now she just wanted some rest. A bit of time to not have to think about it.

Pushing all of the day out from her mind, Anko could feel herself relax as her eyes drifted shut, allowing her the sleep she desired.

.

.

.

"...-ko..."

Egh...what was that...?

"...-nko?"

Someone was talking, shaking her gently on her shoulder, and if they didn't stop, they were gonna get a kunai through the eye.

"-hey, Anko. Are you alright?"

This dude wasn't leaving her alone. She was still half asleep, quietly mewling in indignance at the voice, trying to shake the hand off of her.

"Yeah, what...? The fuck you want...?"

The voice chuckled a bit, and the hand retreated.

"Sorry, sorry. I just...saw you sleeping on the bench. I thought maybe you were drunk or- or something. You're alright?"

Her eyes blinked open a crack, the bright light of morning overwhelming her for a moment. The bright white of the world started settling, and the shape of a person outlined in front of her, slowly blocking in until she could clearly make out a young boy, likely a chunin, looking at her all concerned and nervous.

Wait...she knew this guy...at the very least, she knew his name. That scar across his nose was a pretty clear identifier, and even moreso was the nice guy shtick and that timid demeanor.

Iruka something or other. Some academy teacher she'd met a handful of times in the past.

Anko yawned a small, weak little yawn, sitting up slowly to face the guy.

"Yeahhh, I'm good..."

The man looked a bit relieved. He really did worry too easily. She was a tokubetsu jonin, she could take care of herself! Even if she _were_ drunk and passed out on a bench.

Still pretty out of it from just having woken up, Anko wasn't really thinking about what she was doing. She closed her eyes and stretched, pushing her arms out as some squeak of effort escaped her, and bringing them back in. Anko let out another meager yawn, pawing lightly at one of her eyes to rub the sleep out.

When her eyes slowly opened again, she was met with the blushing face of Iruka, staring at her in wonder.

"...the hell you lookin' at?"

That seemed to shake him out of his weird little trance, and he laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head as the other hand rose in front of him as if to say "nothing wrong here".

"Oh, haha, nothing, I just...I didn't know you could be so, um, cute!"

The kunai flew from her hand before she even knew what she was doing, eyes wide and body tense, all traces of drowsiness obliterated the instant that word was spoken.

Iruka shrieked as the kunai shot past his head, embedding itself into a tree with a harsh _thunk_ , a small red line forming on his cheek where it had cut him.

 _FUCK._

Already. ALREADY. Ten seconds into her redemption day and it had already started. That weird feeling she got when she said…' _please'_ , in the dango shop. That same feeling she'd gotten when she'd decided to see what the tea place was like. It had already started like...like some sort of freaky _infection_ , out to RUIN her.

Iruka was staring at her in fear, literally shaking in place.

'Think-think-think, Anko, think!'

What could she do to get out of this? What had she done so far?

...She ran. Before she could even stop herself, she was darting through the park's trees and out of the scene, not listening to Iruka as he shouted something in concern at her.

This couldn't keep going on like this.

She needed advice.

...She knew who she had to talk to.


	5. Ch5 How Did This Happen?

The alcohol burned against Anko's throat as she swallowed down another shot. That was good. The harshness of the stuff was good! It was- it was tough! Tough and cool! Like _her!_

Her companion watched with a slight bit of apprehension, as if unsure what to say or do.

Well. That made two of them.

Immediately after her encounter with Iruka, Anko found her old friend and dragged her out to a bar under the assurance that this was _very important_.

Kurenai just looked utterly lost.

If there was any lingering awkwardness about the dress shop encounter, it could be brushed aside for now. Kurenai was the one Anko _always_ went to when she needed to straight up vent or needed advice about something, and, if anything, that night would just help Kurenai understand what exactly was wrong right now since she'd seen it firsthand.

"Anko..."

She didn't slow down, pouring another shot and downing it in a single gulp.

"Anko."

Another shot on the way, pouring down into her glass, and-

"Anko!"

"Eh...?"

She dazedly looked up from the glass, still pouring until it overflowed a bit and splashed onto her coat, startling her. Kurenai didn't look impressed, taking a deep, calming breath before speaking.

"Anko. Talk to me. What exactly is wrong?"

That...was a big question. What _was_ wrong...? Anko didn't really know. There was something off about her, that's all she really knew for certain. Ever since the tea shop, she'd had an inkling on what it was, but it was never really feasible. Until...until Iruka called her...

*bap*

Anko's forehead smacked lightly against the table, and she groaned miserably.

She really hoped just having a drink with a friend would fix it, and she wouldn't have to explain it. But that was probably a dumb thought. And now that Kurenai was here, ready to be all listen-y and understanding like she was, Anko wouldn't be able to back out of it.

She might as well get right to the point then.

Anko slowly looked up to meet Kurenai's look, head raising from the table with a few tears starting to build in her eyes. Just as that night in in front of the dress shop, she could feel the warmth in her cheeks that signalled a small blush, and she trembled slightly as she forced the words out in a meek little voice.

"K-kurenai...am I cute...?"

Kurenai visibly flinched back, red spreading across her face as she was unable to answer.

Anko dropped her head back to the table with a loud thunk and began bawling.

"H-hey...Anko..."

How...? How did this happen...!? She'd always been the cool and frightening one. It's who she was. She wasn't...she wasn't this mewling little thing, all feminine and...and...And now she was _crying!_

Somehow, that only made the tears come faster and her cries louder as she squeezed her head with her arms.

"You know, Anko...There's nothing _wrong_ with being cute...It could just be that you're a...um, a cute person!"

Anko's fists bashed against the table as her head lifted, crying out in a pleading aggravation.

"No, that's not it! Don't you get it!?"

Even now, she could feel the sparkle in her eyes, damp with tears, and she small little shakes she couldn't quite stop. Even bawling her eyes out and yelling in protest, something that should have been ugly and horrible...she could tell- she could just _feel_ how even now, it was all just coming out _adorable_.

"I've _never_ been cute!" Her voice sounded small, like it belonged to someone years younger and infinitely more childlike than her. It made her sick. "And now, everything I do just feels all...all _mushy!_ There's something wrong with me...!"

Kurenai was trying to take a bit of control over the situation, placing a hand comfortingly on Anko's arm, trying to calm the torrent of emotions that was causing her lip to quiver as she cried. Anko couldn't even bring herself to meet Kurenai's eyes. The warm, comforting gesture, the way she was trying to understand her. It was like she was being mothered. Her gaze drifted back to the table in shame.

"Anko, there's nothing wrong with you. I'm sure this is just..." she trails off, rolling her free hand as if drawing out the word she was searching for. "A slump! You'll figure it out, and be back to your normal self in no time."

Anko thought about it, mildly agreeing as she rubbed at her eyes with a sleeve, attempting to control herself. She looked up at Kurenai apprehensively, trying to stop the tears in her eyes that were threatening to fall, sniffling once as she did so.

"...r-really?"

Kurenai's motherly expression turned to shock, and she flinched back, barely able to keep her hand still as she struggled to respond.

"SEE!? IT HAPPENED AGAIN...!" Anko squeaked, horrified.

It took Kurenai a good few moments to reign herself back in, but when she did it was strong, firm, and in control.

"Look, Anko. Drinking isn't going to help. Go home for now. Take the day off, relax on your own, and say you were sick tomorrow and couldn't go in for work. Just take a bit of time for yourself, and you'll be able to work it out."

Anko's eyes dropped as she struggled to stop herself from crying any further.

"O-okay...alright..."

Kurenai sighed, happy to have gotten some form of agreement from her.

"Again, I don't think this is as big as you're making it out to be. Get some rest, and if you need to talk again, I'm always available."

"Y-yeah...thanks..."

Kurenai smiled, and Anko wasn't quite sure what to feel. On one hand, Kurenai was right. Some proper rest would do her some good. Time to herself without worrying about anything. On the other, she couldn't escape the dawning horror of realization that she was completely capable of being... _cute_. And even then, there was no escaping the fact that everyone in that shop, as well as Ibiki, had seen that...that little episode.

For now though, this was good.

Kurenai ushered her out of the bar, insisting she'd walk her home. Anko was tempted to say no, being walked home was much too soft and weird considering the past day's events, but...well, it was nice, and she might as well give in for now. After all, with the day to herself, she'd be back to normal tomorrow.

She'd never make another face like that. She'd never cry again. She'd never go back to that tea shop, or anything similar.

No more cuteness.

None.

 _Never. Again._

* * *

AN: 😎✌️


	6. Ch6 Coming to Terms

The day to herself had done quite a bit of good for her sanity.

Anko no longer felt so overwhelmingly frightened and unsure of herself. Dealing with the aftermath of her little incidents would be difficult, no doubt, but it wouldn't be the end of her. After all, she was more than tough enough to push through it!

She'd come up with a plan - a plan Kurenai approved of much more so than "go all out trying to scare the shit out of people". The new plan was just...go through the day as she always did. Return to normal. Kurenai said it would work much better, that her original plan would just cause her more worry and more stress. Acting like she always did was supposed to...right her, in a way. Work out all the kinks.

And that plan had quite a bit of merit. She'd been getting herself deeper and deeper into that whole little world of sparkles and glitter by worrying too much about it. Simply ignoring it and going back to how things always were would be the best way to go about this.

Besides, there wasn't anything to worry about! She wasn't a cute person, so she didn't have to care about those incidents! She could just roll up to work and do her thing.

Plan? Already working.

Still, returning to her job was nerve wracking. Stood directly outside the door to the T&I building, there wasn't a single doubt that she'd see both Inoichi and Ibiki by the end of the day. Inoichi would probably be the easier to face, but even that was putting her on edge.

'Just...focus on getting through the day like always.'

She had to make sure everything went without a hitch. In order to better play the part of herself, she'd made sure to get there early so she could arrive late, perfectly timing her entrance so it would be how it always was.

This was the perfect idea.

Taking a moment to prepare herself, Anko kicked the door to the T&I offices open, sauntering in with her hands in her pockets and a self satisfied smirk plastered across her face.

She was trying hard to look indifferent to everyone already in and working, but she couldn't help a few glances around to judge the reactions of her beloved co-workers. Some of them looked just a little unnerved. Some looked annoyed she'd arrived late as she always did. And some looked like their day had gotten worse just from looking at her.

Nothing out of the ordinary so far.

Right. Right! Why would today be anything but completely, one hundred percent norm-

"Oh, Anko!"

 _Inoichi._

Anko froze in place, almost afraid to turn and face the man that had called out from behind her. She wouldn't have a choice, though. She could tell from the quick taps of his shoes that he was walking up to her.

Taking a deep breath, Anko turned around, her best "mildly annoyed" face in place.

"Yo, what's up?"

"I've got an assignment for you, I need you t-"

"Wait, an assignment?"

Anko's eyes nearly sparkled with excitement. **Nearly.** She stomped down the joy she was feeling that Inoichi was just approaching her about normal, everyday work. After all, this was normal Anko time. Normal Anko doesn't get weirdly happy like that, and she most certainly does not _sparkle_.

Coughing into her hand as she brushed away any lingering strangeness from having interrupted him, Anko blustered back into her usual persona.

"I mean, yeah, an assignment. Something good, right? Riiiiight?~"

Inoichi looked momentarily taken aback, but didn't seem to question her reactions, quickly returning to his own half of their usual banter.

"Nothing that exciting I'm afraid. I need you to take these papers to-"

This time, Inoichi was cut off by the heavy clunk of a boot stepping against the floor, both he and Anko turning towards the noise.

There in the doorway was none other than her main worry of the day. Ibiki.

The intimidating man looked utterly casual, striding into the room with a firm assurance in his position.

That is...until he looked in her direction.

Almost instantly after locking eyes with her, he stopped walking and looked away. A moment passed before he composed himself enough to turn his head back in her direction, giving a single nod in greeting.

"A-...Anko."

Anko, for her part, was still averting her eyes.

"...Ibiki..."

A few moments of absolute silence passed between the two before Ibiki kicked himself back into gear, hurrying passed her. Alright. That wasn't... _too_ bad. It certainly could've been better, but at least the two had managed to speak to each other. With any luck, they'd move past this sooner rather than later. And it didn't seem like he'd been spreading word around the office about the existence of..."Moe-Anko"...

"...What the hell was that?" A voice broke in.

Oh, yeah. Inoichi was here. Anko grabbed the papers out of his hands, hurrying to get off the topic of Ibiki.

"Nothing. Talk assignment, buddy."

* * *

The morning had gone by without incident after that first encounter with Ibiki, and Anko had dug up the determination to go about her normal routine of bugging the man during lunch break. It was one of the few places she could get away with not paying attention to work, so it was most definitely not something she wanted to give up because of a little awkwardness.

Besides, she'd done well enough to return to normal, so their usual back and forth would probably help Ibiki forget about The Incident too. He could see that nothing was out of the ordinary. Just your everyday Anko, here.

The guy was sat squarely in his desk chair, opening his lunch boxes (fucker has two, and never even shares), and, loathe as she was to admit it, she was scared. Taking a breath and holding it for seven seconds before breathing out (a trick Kurenai had taught her to help calm her nerves), Anko walked up beside him.

"Hey uh- Ibiki."

Shit. That came out a little weird. She tried to cover it with a few coughs, but he probably noticed. Ibiki slowly turned his head and looked up at her, and the two were silent for a few seconds. Just when anko was getting to be sure she'd have to say something, Ibiki sighed.

"...Look. I'll- I'll give you the dango I brought, just...just don't do that _thing_ again."

Oh. Whoa. "That _thing"_ , he says? No doubt he was referring to The Incident, but...It didn't sound like he was saying "don't make a cute face at me", it sounded like he was saying "don't look like you were just dragged up from hell to haunt me in my dreams".

Maybe...maybe she WAS overreacting? Maybe Kurenai had been right, and this WAS mostly in her head. It could be that her expression at the dango shop hadn't been 'cute' at all, it had been... _horrifying!_ Ibiki certainly _sounded_ horrified.

...that's PERFECT!

Quickly reigning in her thoughts, Anko let a confident smirk surface as she settled back into her rough and tough persona.

"Eheh, uh, yeah. As long as you keep the dango comin', sure."

Ibiki let out another sigh as Anko grabbed up the stick of dango he'd offered, this one out of relief rather than apprehension.

"Thanks. The last thing I want to do is think of _you_ as _cute._ "

The dango stick snapped in her fist.

* * *

Inoichi Yamanaka was many things. He was kind. He was honest. He was a smart man, well versed in the art of reading people. Very little got passed him without giving him some form of insight into the situation. That was why, lately, the thought of Anko had been bugging him.

For the life of him, he _could not_ figure out what was going on with her.

Inoichi yawned, leaning back in his work chair as he rolled over the details he'd gathered.

It had all started from just seeing Anko in a tea shop he liked to frequent with his wife and daughter, and had gotten a taste for on his own as well. He called out to her, thinking maybe this would give them an actual talking point besides work, and she just...flew into a panic.

Her mug shattered, and the look in her eyes was akin to an animal trapped in a corner, desperately searching for a way to escape. He'd tried to reel the situation back in, but then-...

Then she...jumped through the window. Perhaps he should've expected that from her, but somehow, it still took him off guard.

Then, all throughout the next week, she was nervous around him, but she carefully avoided any mention of the tea shop, even if he gave her a perfectly fine segway for it.

So he dropped it, and things returned to normal. Until...Until yesterday. She hadn't shown up for work, and turned up today with an excuse concerning mental health. Now, don't get him wrong, Inoichi was all for taking care of mental health, Anko especially due to both her circumstances and her stubborn unwillingness to talk about them.

But...it had come out of nowhere. What could have suddenly happened that would change her mind concerning her mental stamina, and...just for one day?

Her return had made everything even stranger, if he were being honest. She turned up looking stiff and nervous, her sharp tongue honed to new levels and her usual swagger calculated at every point as if she were overcompensating on being...herself.

Ordinarily, that would be a sign of a spy, but...

Then Ibiki showed up. The two refused to meet eyes, and their greeting was the most awkward thing he'd ever seen. As well, Inoichi could almost swear Ibiki was...blushing. Just slightly, but it was there.

Something happened between them.

...

...

Inoichi leaned back in his chair, deep in thought.

...

...

...had they slept together...?

The mental health day. Ibiki only becoming awkward once Anko returned to work. The blush.

It certainly _sounded_ like a case of a drunken hookup turned strange the morning after. The alcohol would also explain Anko's sudden, one night interest in men, and Ibiki's sudden, one night interest in _Anko_.

It fit all the parameters, but Inoichi couldn't shake the feeling that there was more to this...

*stomp*

"...hm?"

*stomp stomp*

Inoichi looked over towards the door. There was some noise quickly charging in the direction of his office.

*stomp stomp stomp stompstompstOMPSTOMPS _TOMPSTOMP_ *

 ***BLAM***

The door to his office crashed against the wall as it flew open, almost shaking the entire room and likely putting a pretty large mark on the space it had hit. In the now open doorway stood an Anko that looked...extraordinarily out of it. She was sweating, head low, hand raised and trembling as if threatening to strangle anyone that was close to it.

Before he could even speak, she ran to his chair, grabbing him by the vest and hoisting him up out of his chair, pushing him back against the wall.

" _INOICHI!"_

He groaned at the impact, as well as how loud her voice was. Maybe he _was_ getting old.

"...yes...?"

"The-...the tea shop..."

"...y-yes...?"

"When you saw me at the tea shop...did I look... _weird_ to you…?"

Her eyes met his, both crazed and pleading, searching his own for an answer she was desperately hoping for.

"Weird...? Um, no, not really. Actually, I was pretty surprised to see you at a place like that."

She flinched back like he was about to strike her. He hurried to defuse the situation.

"It wasn't- I wouldn't say anything about it was _weird_ , however! Honestly, it was kind've cu-"

"NO!"

Anko shook him maniacally, his back hitting the wall over and over with every panicked shake.

"Dammit man, _don't say it!"_

"Urgh...don't...don't say what...?"

"That WORD!" she screamed. "Don't say that _WORD_ , INOICHI!"

…

They were just staring at each other now. Anko looked absolutely manic, breathing labored and hair tussled and out of place as sweat ran down the sides of her head.

…

" _...UGH!"_

She threw him back against the wall, and he groaned at the soreness he would most definitely be feeling for the next few days. When he opened his eyes again, she was already gone, having stormed off in a huff.

...There was most definitely more to this situation than a bad one night stand.

* * *

Anko's mid-life crisis was coming _far_ too early for her liking. She always envisioned it being about like...a job change, and her dango eating habits catching up with her or something. Not...not _this!_

She'd fled to the roof of the T&I building, allowing the wind to blow away just a bit of her stress the cool air flowed against her. Anko ran a hand through her hair, sighing out as she laid down.

First Iruka…

Then Kurenai.

Then Ibiki.

And she'd just barely stopped Inoichi from saying it.

Every single one of them, nearly unprompted, had referred to her as...as...

...cute...

She needed to kill something. Go out on an S rank mission or- or be allowed to torture one of the prisoners or...or _something!_

No. She couldn't delude herself anymore. It was getting harder and harder to run from. So much so, that running from it at all was starting to seem like a bad idea. Instead, she just had to...

She just had to face it now. Be strong about it. That's what Anko does. She faces things head on, and tackles them into the ground.

So she would admit it.

She was-

No...She _could_ be...c-u-t-e. Sometimes. In weird, freak situations.

...this was a problem. Already, four people knew about this part of her; even more if she were to count the bystanders in the dango shop.

She had the capability of being cute. She could even _enjoy_ cute things.

...she'd need to hide this.

* * *

AN: I think this is my favorite chapter so far. This thing is an absolute joy to write, by the way.


End file.
